Life goes on...

So, it's been about three weeks since S left....
The first couple of days were really off. I am not the most motivated person in the world and sometimes I really needed S's presence to get stuff done. Sometimes I just really need him to be there to say 'good job' and validate that I do a good job and I want to show him that I do work hard. So, the first couple of days I had no motivation. I did a little here and there as far as cleaning and housework, but not nearly enough to keep up with everything. But we're getting there. 'I' and I have gotten better at working together more consistently as a family. I've gotten back into making a real meal every night ,even if we're having leftovers more often... I've run out of chocolaty stuff to snack on all the time...
So to what's been going on....

'I' had an orthodontist appointment and his teeth are looking great according to the Dr. So happy to hear that. He's excited to get them off. But unfortunately that one tooth still hasn't come in yet, so we need to wait and see what happens with that before we can take them off. But he got a twisty wire between the front teeth and different color rubberbands on each bracket.

We spent a long day at the Zoo and we had so much fun. We are doing a report on Giraffes so that was an important part of the trip. We had a zoo scavenger hunt and really took the time to read everything. We had so much fun. We did the carousel, had a big picnic lunch and even got some ice cream. It was a great day.

Look at these cute boys! I love them SO much! How could anyone not fall in love with these two. Especially while watching some Signing Time. R, who hates blankets lol, has started snuggling up with a blanket to get comfy. It is SO cute, and I think he knows it :) He doesn't really eat his fingers, but I think this was to deal with a tooth coming in..

'I' got his blue uniform for the Black Belt Program. He loves it! He is so proud to finally be in blue. And he also got two stripes this week. So he is almost ready to graduate to Blue Belt, although the next graduation isn't until next month. He is putting forth so much effort, and you can really see it. I am so proud of him. I am constantly impressed with how well he is doing in Karate. He is listening and following directions so well and he is really trying. I have to be honest. I don't know how much longer beyond another year that we're going to live here and I want him to get as much out of this as he can, especially since we're paid through and there's no refund... maybe we can visit MN in the summers and continue....

"Everything is awesome"! I had to get this movie. It was so cute and I missed a lot of it when we saw it in the theater because I was walking around with R. I'm looking forward to watching it again and so is 'I'.

Other happenings:
'I' is doing Robot Camp this week and pictures are yet to come. But he is having a blast and it's really interesting what they're doing. Today he made a robot that can follow black lines and drive itself!

I've started going to the gym! I had a consultation on Monday and found out what machines I should use and got a workout schedule. So Monday I did 15 minutes on the treadmill, burned about 100 calories. Tuesday I did all my reps on the weight machines for my arms and legs, only did 2 minutes on the elliptical (because cardio is not my friend) and also did some Russian Twists. R doesn't love mommy leaving him in the daycare, so he was ready to go by then. 'I' and I have plans to do a Family Yoga class tomorrow, which I'm excited about, I hope we have fun.

So, we're doing good. We're staying busy, a lot is going on. We're getting used to Dad not coming home everyday.... Everything reminds me of S. Everyday, doing whatever, there is always something that makes me think of him and I miss him SO much. I don't get to talk with him on skype everyday and due to sharing barracks with so many other soldiers he types, so I rarely get to hear his voice. I feel like I'm always saying 'I love you and I miss you' and feeling like those words aren't enough. I want my husband to come home and never leave again...

Goodbye...

So we said 'Goodbye' to S yesterday....

We got up at 4:00 in the morning to take S to the Drill Hall. It was a bit of waiting around for a while. We were told that there would be news reporters there and S really wanted to get a shot of him holding R. So we dressed accordingly (no pjs lol). Unfortunately R didn't let daddy hold him, but both the reporters did ask to talk to us. I think it's partially because we were the only family with such a young son and partially because R really is the cutest little boy anyone has ever seen :) 

Here is the link to the interview :)  ...not my best angle (I really need to get braces! maybe when we're done paying for I's braces and Karate)

http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/06/04/army-reserve-unit-headed-to-east-africa/

This was at 5 in the morning...

I love him SO much. I already miss him...

He finally let Daddy hold him a bit <3

 All the guys lining up for formation. About to get on the bus...

So I was pretty good for most of the morning. I teared up a few times, but resisted crying until it was really time to say goodbye. I don't think anyone had a dry eye at that point. I've know this was coming for a while and I convince myself of how it's going to be and that it won't be that bad, but when the time comes it's always different.

I don't want 'I' to see me crying a lot, so that helped yesterday morning and on the drive home. It's good that I have the boys to keep me busy so I don't get lonely. When we got home R and I took a nap, then we had lunch and ran to the store where I stocked up on junk food to drown my sorrows (goodbye getting in shape!) and then we all took a long walk around the lake where we saw a deer, a baby turtle (that we helped back into the pond) and a beaver.

Later a good friend offered to bring us dinner and another surprised us with brownies.

So all in all, the first day wasn't so bad.

I know that there will be bad days. Days that I'm lonely, days that the kids are driving me crazy, days that really could have used his help and good days that we wish he could be enjoying with us.... An the best days will be when we get to see Daddy on Skype or talk on the phone.

I am proud of my husband and the wonderful work that he's doing. And in one short year he will come home to us, safe and sound.

It's been a while...

I am horrible at keeping up with 'blogging', I can't even remember the last time I even thought about posting something on here.
But with S preparing for his deployment in just a few days, it's really setting in.
I cried for the first time tonight since the day we got the original orders. In the past couple of weeks we've gone through stages of grief I guess. We had a couple really rough days. It took me a while to realize what was really going on. It's hard trying to prepare yourself for being on your own while simultaneously wanting him to be super involved because he's not gone yet and he's trying to prepare himself too.
Right now my husband is downstairs gathering anything he could possible want or need for the next year, that he's able to fly with...
I won't have anyone to talk to, to share everything with... He won't be here to see all of the incredibly cute and impressive things that R does. 'I' won't have Dad to build legos with or play video games with...
I am going to miss him so much!
And I feel that I have to try even harder while he's gone, not to just get by, but to make him proud of me that I'm able to do it. I was a single mom for six years before I met S, I should feel confident, but I don't. I have gotten used to having him here. Every time that I can't reach something up high or open something or even figure out how something is supposed to work, he is always there for me. And I love him so much! It was easier being alone before because I didn't have love anyone.
My husband has made my dreams come true. I have never once doubted that he loves me even in our worst fights. Which are few and far between. He has blessed my life SO much. He is a great husband and father. He has made it possible for me to be a stay at home mom of our two sons and now to also be a full time teacher to 'I' as well.
I have to new found determination to be more active on this blog. I want this to be a place that S can see us and be connected to our daily lives.
Tomorrow is the first day of S, with his unit, making the final preparations to leave. In just a few short days (especially since I'll only really have the evenings with him) S will leave for a year.
Please pray for him.